


Places You Don't Want To Go

by Serenitydusk



Category: Natewantstobtl, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, natewantstobattle
Genre: Complete, Other, Parody, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 02:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15378417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenitydusk/pseuds/Serenitydusk
Summary: It’s a parody of some of my favorite dark-sides (Dark, Natemare, Phantom and Anti), very much tongue-in-cheek. The thought comes from reading much headcanon (including my own) and stories and thinking, “I would freak out in real life if a random/unknown person acted this way/treated me this way”.It also includes Echo, who is the concept of the lovely @graveyard-melodies. Think Echo Dot/Alexa meets Detroit: Become Human meets Natewantstobattle. That’s Echo in a nutshell. Check out @graveyard-melodies on Tumblr for more on Echo and other amazing things.Your friends drag you to the club. You really hate clubs. They're loud and obnoxious with people all up in your space. You plan on toughing it out but these strange guys keep bugging you. You're not looking for someone, but who knows who'll meet.





	Places You Don't Want To Go

“Come on y/n! You need to get out and have fun every once and a while!” Your friend tugs on your arm. “Everyone else is already there.”

“I don’t like clubs. They’re loud. And all the people dancing and grinding all up in my space.” You shudder.

“But the singer there is …” She fans herself. “You’ll love him. He’s just your type.”

“I’m pretty sure if he’s at the club, he’s not my type.” But in the end your friend wheedles away at your objections and drags you to the club. As you reach the door you hear the singer. Grudgingly, you admit, if he sounds this good from outside, he is probably as good as your friend promised.

You walk inside and are met by one of the oddest things you’ve ever seen at a club. The band is playing, and the singer is owning the stage, but the crowd is silent. It’s like they’re entranced. Every single one of them is staring at the singer, swaying slightly to the music. You look over to your friend and see she’s doing it too. “Hey, what the hell?” You shake her arm, but she doesn’t notice or acknowledge you.

You look back to the singer and realize he’s looking right at you, head tilted, and eyes narrowed in question. He crooks his finger at you, but you shake your head. Hell no. You don’t know what freaky shit is going down, but you’re not leaving your friends. The song finally ends, and the band takes a break.  The audience starts blinking and looking around, like someone just waking up.

Your friend leans her head on your shoulder, “Isn’t he the best.”

You feel little alarms blasting in your head. She’s acting like nothing happened, that like two seconds ago, the whole room was a like a pack of mindless pod people. “But, what just happened?  Why was everyone acting so weird?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t notice anything.”

“No one was moving, or talking, or anything. I wasn’t even sure if you were breathing.”

Your friend looked around the room, “Everyone is fine.” She waves her hand encompassing the room. “They were just enjoying the band. Come on let’s dance.”

You shake your head. “I’m gonna grab a drink first. You go on and get us a good spot.” She grabs two more of your friends and they dart off. You’ve managed to buy yourself at least an hour before she comes back and tries to drag you off again. Heading up to the bar, you wait for the bartender to make his way down the bar. The closer he gets the more nervous you feel. Menace rolls off him in waves. You’re about to leave when he pins you with a look. “Hey, what can I get you?” He wipes down the bar as he waits, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Just a beer. Actually, a bucket of them.” You’ll be nice and buy your friends the first round.

“Anything in particular?” He starts to fill a bucket with ice.

“No, just surprise me.”

His eyes flick up meeting yours and the grin he gives you is pure sex. You’d be a liar if you said you didn’t feel it. But, picking up guys at the club just wasn’t your cup of tea. Or shot of whiskey for that matter. You give him a tight smile and pay.

You see the bartender glance up, his eyes looking just beyond you, but fail to react in time as two hands slap down on the bar on either side of you. A voice sings softly in your ear. It’s beautiful, and at the same time creepy as hell. You turn, trying to put as much space between you and the person as possible. You look up and you’re not surprised to see the singer.

“I know somewhere private we can go and get to know each other…” he leans into you, whispering in your ear, “Much better.”

“Oh, hey, um, yeah. No. Sorry, I’m sure the singer gig thing works a lot, but I’m not looking for anything. I’m just here with my friends.” You grab the bucket, using it as part shield/part battering ram to get by him.

He blinks, clearly not used to being told no. Raising the volume, he sings again and looks at you.

“Yeah, that’s just getting creepy, dude. I’m out.” You push past and hurry back to your table, glad he does nothing more than watch you leave.

Natemare turns to Phantom, “Dude. What the fuck just happened?”

Phantom watches as you head back to the table, “I think you just got denied. Something wrong with your mojo? Maybe you’re coming down with a cold.”

Mare snarls back at him. But just to make sure, he throws a song at three random people in the club. The first guy dumps a beer over his friend’s head, a woman starts randomly dabbing, and the last guy gets up and starts singing horrible karaoke. “No, it’s working just fine. Why didn’t it work before?”

Phantom shrugged, “Don’t know.” He leans around Mare and watches as you walk back to your table. “Nice ass. Maybe I’ll give’em a try.”

Mare whirls, narrowing his eyes, “Don’t even. I saw them first.” He stalks off, people veering away from him as he makes his way towards your table.

Dark chuckles as Mare leaves in a tiff. Looking over to Phantom, he smirks, “Boy’s got it bad.”

Phantom, glaring at Mare’s back, “Yeah.” He goes back to cleaning the bar, scrubbing it far harder than is probably warranted.

“Hmm, it must be hard when you’re used to relying on cheats and shortcuts to have to actually seduce someone.” Dark takes a sip of bourbon. “That’s something that takes skill and finesse.” Leaning forward, “Now you,” He points to Phantom, nodding, “You know how to charm someone.”

Phantom glares at Dark, “Is there a point to your rambling?”

“Oh, not really. I was just surprised you let the boy go bumbling off like that. He could use a lesson before he embarrasses himself.” Dark slammed the rest of his drink. “You’d be the perfect one to teach him a lesson. To show him how it’s done.”

Phantom yells at one of the staff, telling them to cover the bar. Without another word, he stalks off towards your table.

Mare reaches your table and grabs and empty chair, spinning it around, straddling the back, with his forearms resting along the top. “Look, doll, we didn’t get off to a good start. My name is Mare.”

Before he can say anything else, Phantom angles himself between you and Mare, “Hey, you’re on in five. Go get the band ready.” He turns towards you with his killer smile.

Mare stands up, nose to nose with Phantom, “We’re on when I say we’re on.”

You scoot away, looking for another table you and your friends can move to, away from this disaster. What the hell is going on tonight? You grab your beer and turn, nearly running into a dark-haired man in an expensive charcoal suit.

“Beasts aren’t they. You could hardly call them civilized.” His voice is like silken night, studded with a hint of things forbidden.

“Um, yeah, I guess. It’s really weird.” You move around him, “Excuse me.”

He catches you arm and turns you back to him, “I’ve been looking forward to spending some time with you. A chance for us to get to know each other better.”

“You know what. No. Just back off.” You hear an abrasive, high pitched squeal of a laugh as a slender man with neon green hair sidles up to you.

“Fancy a walk on the wild side, darlin’?” He does an obscene tongue flick and eyebrow waggle.

You stare at him, at a complete loss for words. Is …is his throat bleeding? What has happened? Is everyone here bonker-balls?

The man in the suit huffs, and tosses his floofy hair back, “You are a garbage person. What would anyone possibly want with someone as crass and unrefined as you?”

“Oh really, edgelord? Didn’t see you doing any better.”

The men have completely forgotten about you in their one-upmanship of each other, giving you a chance to escape. You look around and realize that your friends have completely bailed on you. Some friends.

You head back to a deserted table and sit down, pulling out your phone. You’re done. Completely 1000% done with this night. As you open up Uber, you hear a soft voice, “Um, hi, that’s my table.”

You look up ready to rip someone’s head off, when you see, this guy standing there. He looks ready to run, especially when he sees the look on your face.

“I mean, I don’t care if you sit there.” He stops, sighing. “I just want a quiet place to sit until my friends get ready to leave. I won’t bother you.”

You let out a slow exhale and motion towards a chair, “Sorry, I didn’t know someone was sitting here. I’m just calling an Uber and I’m out.” There’s something about him that makes you feel comfortable and when he looks at you, you don’t feel like a piece meat. He looks at you like you’re a person.

He sits down and takes a drink. He props an elbow up on the table and rests a cheek against his fist, just watching the crowd. True to his word, he leaves you alone.

You finish your Uber request and sigh, “Hey, um, it’s going to be a bit before they can get here. Would you mind if I grabbed drink and waited for them here?”

He gives you a small smile and shakes his head.

When you get back, he asks, “Not your thing either?”

You laugh wryly, “No. I hate coming to clubs. I mean, normally it’s fine. I just sit and people watch. But these guys here tonight.” You wave your hand over at Phantom, Mare, Dark and Anti who are still sniping at each other. “I seriously feel like a goldfish in a bowl of hungry piranha.”

“You don’t dance?” He takes another drink, watching the water paths he makes as he drags his bottle across the table.

“No, I don’t dance.” You groan, “No, it’s worse than that, I look like I’m dying when I dance.”

Your description of how you dance must have caught him by surprise, making him laugh and snort at the same time. He slaps his hand over his face at the noise. “I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.” It comes out all muffled, but that just makes it even cuter.

The expression on his face, coupled with the noise, makes you break out in giggles.

He looks up at you with a mildly affronted expression.

“I’m so sorry.” You say between giggles. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise. That was just the cutest noise I’ve ever heard. And your face.”

“What’s wrong with my face?”

The look of hurt that flashes across his face stops your laughter, “No, hey, there’s nothing wrong with your face. I just meant, the expression on your face was cute too. You just looked so surprised.”

“It’s ok. It was a funny noise.” He takes a drink. “Does that mean my face is cute?”

He asks the questions with such earnest curiosity, you can’t help but smile, “Yeah, you have a cute face.”

He smiles, looking pleased at your words. “You have a cute face too.”

You chuckle, as your phone buzzes, “Hey, that’s my Uber. You wanna ditch this place and find somewhere else to go?”

His face lights up, “Yeah!  Hey, my name is Echo.”

“I’m y/n. Nice to meet you.”

“Well, y/n, do you like coffee?”

“Coffee is life.” You love coffee, but even more you love the atmosphere at coffee shops. So quiet and sedate, and as a bonus, they smell amazing.

“I know this coffee shop. They sometimes have pretentious poetry readings.”

“Let’s go!”

Both stand up and head for the door, continuing their conversation. Mare looks over and sees them walking out the door, animatedly talking.

He’s annoyed at first, more for letting it all get under his skin in the first place. He finally smirks, shaking his head, “That’s my boy.” Ah well, he glances around the room and see a hot redhead on the dance floor. With a seductive grin, he makes his way towards them, humming a tune.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts and feedback (positive or constructive) always welcome.


End file.
